Thursday, November 6, 2008

American Christian.XVI - Rushing Wind

Rushing wind blow through this temple
Blowing out the dust within


The experience is indescribable. Our hero runs, but for the first time not from anything - well, not just from anything, but to. He runs to Jesus. What does that mean?

He has his moment of clarity, a moment of crystallized self-awareness. It's like when Neo sees the computer code in the world around him. It's like when the ugly duckling realizes he's not an ugly duck - he's a swan.

All along the path, there's always been someone who has wanted something from our hero. They wanted his body to count in the statistics of how many followers they had. They wanted someone they could give rules and regulations to, because they felt no control over their own lives and sought to control his.

Our hero is also guilty - perhaps even the chief among those who have sinned against him - he wanted nothing but perfection from himself. He has learned to hate himself and expect nothing but failure from within, all the while demanding a flawless performance for the great cloud of witnesses. At once his hatred for himself and for the establishment is one and the same. Then it happens...

He sees it. In his mind's eye he sees the cross. Perfection is demanded, but perfection knows its creation has no hope of stepping up. So perfection, also known as love, makes a way - in this instance into the heart of our hero. Love removes our hero from the cross within his heart and takes his place. Our hero protests, but has no strength and he simply falls on his face.

Pity, sadness, compassion - the words "Jesus loves me" echo in his mind and like a gentle lightning bolt, brings his soul to life and he feels sorry - first for himself, but soon also for those he hated only a moment ago. He feels the pity - first for himself and then for others. He feels sad over his hopeless condition and a tear trickles down his cheek - then it expands out to his tormentors and grief overwhelms him. And then, compassion... He wants help - his spirit cries out and is answered with an assurance. The final words of the bible study leader now are whispered into his heart by the Holy Spirit - It's going to be all right.

A most blessed assurance, an inexplicable peace warms his soul like a small, but stout campfire in the middle of a bleak snowfield. He doesn't know how, but he knows everything is going to be all right - more than all right, even; but he doesn't want to get too far ahead of himself. For the first time he feels a real smile take its rightful place under his nose...

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